doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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