Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize
