Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Randomize
