So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
