i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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