and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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