Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
