my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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