Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I could make wine with my vomit
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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