I'm gonna have a badass scar
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
