Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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