glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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