do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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