once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Dicks are not precious.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
