thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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