you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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