oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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