We need to start having sex underwater more often.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
