Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
