just come out here and I will go home with you...
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Randomize
