Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
