OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
okay pat passed out under dana's car
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
