dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
