Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Barsexuality is the new black.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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