I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Randomize
