well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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