How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
