He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
