I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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