would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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