Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
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