hotel room ftw
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Randomize
