woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
You ruined the universe
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
