She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
