if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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