is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
