I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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