she was so not down for the gang bang
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
