I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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