i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
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