id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Drake has all the answers
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
