I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
