I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
