whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
