how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
please come you make the beer taste better
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
