put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
