We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
