Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
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