I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
