when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
