i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Ambien. No doubt about it.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
